Mom, what's that tickling my feet?

This is what Kael asks me this morning with a very perturbed look on his face. I look down at his feet and see nothing.

Me: Baby, what are you talking about?
Kael: My feet. There's something tickling it. What is it?

I'm a little nervous now, I don't know what to expect, so I step a little closer to get a better look. And I still see nothing. However, thoughts of dust mites (from the Why Book, thanks Jimmy and Crystal) float across my mind.

Me: There's nothing on your feet. Are you sure?
Kael: Mom, it's right here. Look! (pointing in the general area of his toes)

By this time my eyes are really wide, with all kinds of thoughts racing through my head: what the hell is he feeling? Is it a bug? Are we infested? Are they crawling all over his feet and I just can't see them because they are really small and flesh colored?? Do they jump? Why am I starting to feel itchy??

I get down on my knees and lookveryclosely at his feet. I swear I still see nothing. So I ask him to tell me what he's done and where he's been this morning. This way I can at least quarantine the area before I bomb it with whatever bug killing agent I have in the house.

Turns out he just came from the bathroom. Finally the light bulb blinks on above my head.

In his failed attempt to do a #2 this morning, his legs fell asleep. He's a bit backed-up because he hasn't wanted to eat oatmeal and I've let it slide because he's sick -- and I guess he was trying for a #2 for a while. I start laughing because... well, it's just funny that he's never had his legs fall asleep on him before and he's calls it a "tickling." I tell him to stamp his feet, which he does but doesn't like the feeling it produces. Then I tell him that his legs fell asleep but the feeling will eventually go away -- just walk it off. Of course he asks why did his legs fall asleep. I tell him to ask his Dad when Dad comes back. It was 8:00am, I'm barely awake, and I just wasn't in the mood to explain blood circulation at that moment.

I was left with the image of my kid, bare-assed with a toilet ring tattoo on the back of his thighs, walking away like Frankenstein.

What a way to start the day.