We are home. Finally.

We actually drove home Saturday but spent the last 2 days recuperating from the trip. We got on the road at 11:20am (after dim sum - yum!) and finally staggered through our front door at 7:00pm. That's right folks. It took us 7 hours and 40 minutes. If there was ever any question regarding our insanity to hitting the road at 3:00am, it has been laid to rest.

It was a great trip. The kids played non-stop with their cousins and I ate pretty much every 2 hours. Luckily I brought several pairs of elastic-waisted fleece pants (room for stretch AND warmth - I'm so smart!). Most nights (probably 6 out of the 7) Kael didn't get to bed until close to 10:00pm. And naps? Pshhht! Naps, schmaps. He doesn't need no stinking naps! Needless to say, when we got home, he crashed pretty hard and has been catching up on his zzz's. He does miss having sleepovers with his cousins though. He's asked to have his friends over so I think we will have to seriously entertain that idea soon. (Am I insane to even contemplate hosting a sleepover with 2 four year olds??)

Malia was literally a growth on Dad the entire trip. She had to be surgically removed from him, kicking and screaming. Even I couldn't get her off Dad. When asked to go to Mom so Dad could eat, go to the bathroom, etc., she'd shake her head and say her favorite words: No No No. Truong ended up taking her to the bathroom with him. He "protests" it, saying it's a pain in the rear, but I know he's secretly tickled pink at her Daddy Obsession. The difference between Mom and Dad is: when something needs to be done, I'll leave her on the floor to do her diva act while I do what I have to do. Dad, well, it breaks his heart to hear her cry so he ends up trying to juggle 4-5 things with her in his arms. She can smell the weak link like a dog can smell bacon.

Our last meal with the family was dim sum, Saturday mid-morning. It was great. We took over 2 tables as there were (only) 17 immediate family members available for breakfast. I knew Kael was going to have a hard time saying good-bye so I made sure to give him plenty of time instead of just sticking him the car and driving away. Not sure if that was a tactical error or not, but he refused. In fact, he not only refused, but he demonstrated a very deep anger at me for taking him away from his cousins. His exact words were: "I don't want to go home! I never want to go home! I want to stay here forever!" and the icing on the cake: "I hate home!"

Oi.

Everyone gave him hugs and kisses with promises to come visit but that only made things worse. It made him want to stay even more. I felt really bad. Until he hit me. POW! right on the head. Then I got mad and tossed him in the car seat. By then he was in a sullen silence.

And that was how we started the trip home. The long trip home. But we had a surprise waiting for him at home: Santa's present. The one present he's asked for, for the past couple of months: the Rescue Heros Rescue Shark Submarine. It has about 110 little pieces that are perfect for getting lost and choking Malia, and he's totally in love with it. He's so in love with it that he (without prompting) asked for a pen and paper to write a thank you note to Santa. And entrusted me with the task of mailing it to Santa. So now the note is in my car, waiting to be mailed. Anyone want to volunteer to be "Santa"?

All in all, it was a very nice Christmas.

Home Alone. Sort of.

Can I really be "home alone" when it's not my home? Regardless of whose home I'm actually in, I'm alone. Well, not quite. Malia's asleep and my mom's puttering around in the house. Given the past week, that's as close to being alone as I'm going to get.

Truong decided to take the big kids bowling after dinner. Since Kael woke up late from his nap (5:30pm and we had to wake him up so he was a grouchy bear for dinner) I told Truong he had to take Kael with him. My sister was taking her kids home (they had been here since Christmas Eve) so what was Kael going to do by himself with me? So the bowling party was Truong, Kael and the big kids (4 of them). Then Jarod and Amelie (the little kids) heard that Kael was going bowling and wanted to go too. They asked my sister and was told NO, that they were going home after dinner. After 5 minutes of begging, it was still an unequivocal N-O. I went to get Malia ready for bed and when we made the good night rounds, I heard loud cheering from the little kids. Turns out after getting a NO from Mom, they went to work on Dad. And since Dad loves bowling, he said YES. Smart kids. Mind you, it's after 7:00pm and that meant they wouldn't get home until 9:30pm.

I sort of smirked at my sister and said: "I hear you guys are going bowling...." She gave me a dirty look and responded with a "Yes, and we're staying another night too because of you! You planned it all! You used bowling to make us stay another night!"

I looked at her like she was crazy (she was, by the way). I guess she decided that by going bowling, it would too late to head back home to Fremont (a mere 20 mintues away so I don't know what she's talking about) so that meant they had to unpack the car that they just packed up. She claimed that I conspired against her to keep her kids at my parents' house to play with my kids and to ensure that they would come to breakfast with us before we leave tomorrow morning. She's nuts, I'm telling you.

In the end, the bowling group was: Truong and Kael, the Big Kids (Jackie, Sean, Daryl, Mitch), my sister's family (2 adults and 3 kids) and my other sister. A total of 12 people. When they left, the house was as quiet as a tomb. It was just Malia and my Dad who were asleep, and me and my mom. I helped my mom clean the house and discovered a whole stash of Ziplock bags. Why was I excited about that, you ask? BOX TOPS! My mother had the motherlode of Box Tops. I searched around for a xacto knife and started carving them out. All 25 coupons. She had 25 boxes of various sized Ziplock bags in the kitchen. Don't ask me why she had so many. Maybe they were on sale. I don't know. Who cares?? That's 25 Tops!

Anyway, I told my mom in the future, to please cut these out for me and keep them until I come back. Do not under any circumstances let my sister find out about them and do NOT let her take them! (She's also collecting Box Tops for her son's school and wouldn't let me have any from her house so I'm a little peeved.) My mom asked about them and I told her we get money for the school, blah blah blah. The whole song and dance. She was impressed and asked how much was I getting from her now (it looked like a nice little stash). I said you had TWENTY-FIVE tops! That's.... $2.50.

The look on her face was comical. All that work for just $2.50, and I wanted her to join my side instead of my sister's. Clearly she thought I was crazy.

But hey! I didn't get to go bowling so I had to have something going on for me, right?

It's a merry merry Christmas.

Greetings from the Artic, where it's about 50 degrees... in the house. But unlike Thanksgiving we are prepared this time. The kids are in 3 layers, wool socks (Malia is, since Kael keeps taking his off saying they are too slippery) and sometimes on particularly cold mornings, their fleece jackets. My mom walks around in gloves and a scarf. In the house.

It's been a great visit. My sister lives only 20 minutes away but decided to spend 3 nights at my parents' house to let the kids play. After opening the mountain of presents last night, the house is in complete shambles. We've had plasma-car races, hot wheels races (be careful where you step - those suckers hurt!), there are Darda race tracks all over and Malia's baby doll stuff is strewn throughout the house. You have to be quick on your feet otherwise you'll get your toes run over by the plasma-cars and Malia's shopping cart, and watch your head for Kael's helicopters. It's a war-zone here.

Amidst all this, my mom and sisters are preparing Chrismas dinner II (Part I was last night at the Korean House Restaurant - thanks to Alex for dish recommendations). I was told last night that I'm to prepare the prime rib for today so I'm in a little tailspin because everything is closed today and I don't have all I need to prepare it correctly. Oh well. I'll make something up. I think I saw some nutmeg and cinnamon somewhere, along with salt and pepper and the standard Vietnamese household condiment: fish sauce. (I can just see Erin and Shana wrinking their noses.)

Just kidding - I'm going to do a salt and horseradish crusted prime rib for dinner. No need for the fish sauce. We'll save that for another meal.

I have a ton of pictures but for some reason Truong's laptop isn't recognizing my card reader. For this reason, I'm going to save some of the funnier stories for later when you can see the pictures that go with it. Especially of Kael's split lip and Malia's eating while sleeping.

I hope you all are having a great Christmas with you and yours.

All packed up.

Just add 2 sleepy kids and we're ready to hit the road!

We're attempting our 3rd 3:00am road trip to San Jose in a few hours so here's hoping that the third time's a charm. Malia had a short noontime nap (off schedule) which translated to no afternoon nap (her real nap) and when you add a late bedtime it's going to be dicey. But I'm hoping the Powers That Be will remember the big BINGO winners from Thanksgiving and give us a break.

If not, next time I'm flying and Truong can pick me up at the airport with the kids.

I'll be posting from San Jose so it'll be a little sporadic as Truong and I fight over the laptop.

If I don't get to it...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Sleeping Beauty and Friends

I couldn't resist taking these pictures today. She sleeps like this on her pillow every night, with her sleep buddies clutched tight. My heart just puddles.





Moments like this erase my annoyance with her vehement anti-stroller stance.



Ummm. No, not quite.

These shoes were made for walking.

And that's just what they'll do.
So let me outta this stroller! NOW!

That's Malia's new song. Or maybe her motto. All I know is she's a serious handful and a half in public places.

She refuses to sit in the stroller. Or the shopping cart. She won't even let me carry her. She wants to walk on her own, unassisted, free of the bonds of hand-holding. Which is good (who doesn't want their kid to be independent?) -- but only at certain times and in certain places.

The park: Good
Costco: Bad
Getting the mail: Good
The mall during Christmas rush: Bad. Very bad.
The grocery store, canned soup aisle: Need I say more?

I dread going anywhere with her. I used to be able to bribe her with fruits. Then treats. And, yes, I will admit to using candy. Unfortunately she's on to me and now refuses all forms of sustenance. I lift her up to place her into the cart and she immediately spreads out her legs to prevent me from seating her, while screaming NO NO NO NO! So I angle her and get her feet in but then she arches her back so I get her stuck half-in, half-out. Stinker. I take her out and scold her then try again. Usually by the third attempt one of two things will happen:

1) I give up and have her walk. Five to ten minutes into whatever I'm doing, wherever I'm going, I start to regret my decision. I spend most of my time saying: "Come on, Malia, follow Mommy! Come on, Peanut, come on!" (which coincidentally is the name of Shana's dog but unlike Malia, Peanut the Dog actually comes when you call her). What should be a 20 minute trip turns into a 45 minute cat-and-mouse, dare I take 3 steps back to get that box of cereal but risk losing sight of her because she's so fast or should I pick her up and risk the Wrath of Malia, shopping ordeal.

2) I assert my Mommy Authority and wedge her into the shopping cart and snap on that seat belt, thus preventing her (some of the time anyway) from wiggling out. I have to keep a close eye on her though because she is so very wiggly and can get out. The satisfaction I get from snapping that buckle is short lived. The high pitched shrieking starts immediately and will continue for the entire duration of the torturous shopping trip. That would torturous for everyone involved: Malia, me, the other shoppers. She screams like I'm pulling out her fingernails. Unfortunately, I've taken a stand and I can't reverse my position. So no matter how loudly she screams, no matter how many horrified looks I get from my fellow shoppers, no matter how many times she comes close to hyperventilating because she's screaming so loudly she can't take a breath, she must remain strapped in the cart.

Today as we walked into Toys R Us, we passed a row of carts. She was holding my hand and she pointed to the carts and said: "Mama, carts! No no no! (vigorously shaking her head)". She said it several times. It was all I could do to not bust out laughing. It was clearly obvious that she was going for the preemptive No, don't waste your time, Mom, it ain't gonna happen.

And she was right. After 20 minutes of screaming and one accidental phone call to Erin where all she heard on her voice mail was of a child screaming, I ended up compromising with Malia: she allowed me to carry her with a few short walking breaks.

Bottom line: It's a good thing you can order almost everything on-line for delivery, including groceries. A good thing indeed.

Paging Charlie Brown: We have your tree.

After weeks of nagging, Truong finally put some effort into really looking for our sad sad tree. He found it wedged in the way back of the overhead hanging shelf in the garage. Probably wedged in the way way back for good reason, as you will see later.

Let me explain some things first before you all think we deprive our kids of the Holiday Spirit.

Way back when (before kids) we had real trees. The thing was: our German Shepherd Mikah kept peeing on it. We eventually broke him of that habit but let's just say I still checked the tree after work every day and wasn't terribly surprised if he marked it.

Then we adopted Loki the cat. Those of you who knew us back then will surely remember that cat. He was a very cool cat who thought he was a dog. He was also a cat that I knew in my heart of hearts would climb up my beautiful Christmas tree, knock it down and cause a house fire, burning us all to a crisp in our sleep.

So we stopped getting a tree. Then we moved down here (with the same two dogs and the same two cats). Then we had Kael. And we now we had to travel 7 hours every Christmas to spend it with my family. In the end, we sort of fell out of the Christmas tree tradition somewhere between the dog peeing on it, the fear of house fires with the cat, and the "we're not going to be here anyway" mentality. Plus Kael was too young to really get it so he wasn't missing out on anything.

Fast forward to last year when Kael started preschool and learned about all this stuff in class. His questions and desire to be a part of the holiday fun is even more prevalent this year. So last year I broke our non-tree trend and I got a tree. Not a real tree because as Truong is so fond of telling me, we're going to be gone for 2 weeks and who wants to leave a potential torch in an empty house?

So I got a fake tree. And unfortunately, I was a little late to get on the bandwagon so I had to hunt around for a pint-sized, pre-lit tree. It's really just so we have something to put Kael's presents under so I didn't want to shell out the big bucks for a fancy tree. The big fancy tree is in San Jose.

Last year I thought it looked fine. I let Kael hang ornaments on it and he loved it. That's all that matters, right? Well, last night as Truong and I took out our fake tree, I didn't remember it looking so... anorexic. We spread out all the "branches" and some "pine needles" fell off so I tried not to adjust it so much, in fear of it really shedding and we'd end up with just wire. We stood it up in the corner and looked at it. That's when I realized that we had the Charlie Brown Tree. I'm thinking next year we're really going to have to get a real tree and retire this one. I actually don't think this one is going to make it the one week we have left, the way the kids have been playing with it.

I told Shana about it and she reminded me to "fluff it out" to which I responded "you can't fluff out pipe cleaner branches!" It's so sad looking but sad in a really funny way. The kids had a great time trimming it, and it's their tree so they can do whatever they want to it. Before you look at the pictures, know that it looks way better with the lights off and tree lights twinkling.

I loved watching their faces as they decorated the tree. Until, as we watched Malia playing with and banging two ornaments together, Truong wondered how much lead was in those things.

Great. Happy Holidays.

Kael hard at work strategically placing every ornament.

Let's take a closer look at the utter focus on his face.

Malia trying to figure out how to grab more ornaments with two already in her hands.

Malia's way of hanging ornaments: stick her arms way into the middle of the tree, let go and watch the ornament fall down the tree until it gets caught on something. This method really bothered Kael. Really bothered him.

Malia trying to squeeze in the back to hang some more lead filled ornaments.

I see a disaster waiting to happen. I put Malia in the same category as Loki the cat.

"Mom, that was a lot of fun. Do you have any more stuff to hang?"

"Mom, do NOT let Malia hang any more ornaments. She's messing up my tree."

"Just kidding. Where are the presents??"

The San Diego Zoo

We spent an absolutely perfect day at the San Diego Zoo with our friends Crystal and Jimmy Tang. The weather couldn't have been any better - just the right amount of chill in the air to make walking the Zoo comfortable instead of hot and sweaty. No crowds at all. And the kids were on their best behavior.
(Pictures are posted at right. And in case you didn't know, if you use the slideshow function, you can't see the comments.)

Morning time was the best time to go as the animals were active and they were getting fed. Crys and Jimmy are Zoo members as they go there often but they kept commenting how they hadn't ever seen some of the animals this up close and personal before. Heck, I've never seen a hippo so up and close and personal before. I've always known they were huge animals but until I saw one just a few feet away, I never realized how massive they really are. In all the trips to the Wild Animal Park and the San Francisco Zoo that we've taken, I have to say that this trip to the SD Zoo was the best. Kael and Malia got to see a lot of animals really close and even saw a crocodile swim by. The monkeys were sitting as close as 10 feet (if that) instead of hidden in the trees and to Kael's absolute delight, all the insects in the Insect House were easily seen (and clearly feed growth hormones as they were gigantic mutant bugs).

Spending time with Jimmy and Crystal was of course very nice as we hadn't seen them in about a year. They are thinking about changing their DINK status to a Family of Three with the new year. At least Crystal is thinking about it -- Jimmy sounded a little surprised when I mentioned it.

Oops.

At least the kids were on their best behavior and didn't scare C/J off the family path. Malia kept asking Crystal to hold her so hopefully that plucked Crystal's maternal strings a bit more.

When asked by Crystal what his favorite animal was at the Zoo, Kael thought about it and said: "The crickets." Meaning the crickets he saw in the Bug House that managed to not get eaten by the mutant bugs. The feeder crickets. The ones that are sold for $0.15 a piece at Petco. Great. Good thing we got in free as Zoo Member Guests.

And my final comments on today will be my favorite Crystal Quotes (as said by someone who clearly has no children):

1) "Do you see that big hook? They use it to stab the cricket, rip it open and eat all their guts!"
Said to Kael in the Bug House when he asked what that big beetle was doing with the cricket.
(I'm calling you tonight if he has nightmares about beetles, crickets and guts.)

2) "I had to climb on top of the house and break the window to get in. I BROKE the window!"
Said to Kael when he asked what happened when she got stuck outside the house.

They came home from a trip to China, to find out she had the wrong keys to her parents' house, who were in Japan, and in her parents' house were her keys to her car and house. Crystal had to climb up to the 2nd story bathroom and evidently broke the bathroom window to get in.
(I'm sending you the bill for any broken windows.)

And my favorite:
3) "Did you know there's CANDY in there??"
Said to Kael (unprompted I have to say, he didn't ask her) after I told Kael the star-shaped things in his bug toy were pretty colored rocks. Rocks, Crystal. Not candy. Of course he believed her and not his mother so he's asked me a few times if he could eat his candy.
(Thanks. Thanks a lot.)

Malia "Imelda Marcos" Mai

Malia, despite all that I'm doing to raise her otherwise, is turning into quite a girly-girl.

She loves stuffed animals and dolls. She holds them tight, pets them, talks to them, and rocks them to sleep. It's really cute, if a little worrisome that we're going to end up with a room full of stuffed animals and dolls.

She loves wearing new clothes. I can't have her try anything on at the store because she will refuse to take them off. It turns into a battle of epic proportions so we just hope the item fits as we have to literally buy it off her back. She won't even let us take off the tags as she walks away wearing the brand new purchase.

She loves shoes. Loves them. And not just her shoes. Everyone's shoes. Especially shoes that look like ours. For example, the cute pair of Crocs that Truong bought her in Denver. She can't wear them yet because they are too big and they either fall off (and making her really mad), or they spin sideways as she takes a step, causing her to stumble or fall (and making her really mad). For these two reasons, I don't let her wear them. But sometimes she manages to find them and will bring them into the house.

Saturday night she suckered Dad into letting her wear them. Truong doesn't know the troubles we have said Crocs. I was upstairs getting the kids' shower ready so I didn't know. I just knew that she was wearing them because I heard Kael saying "You don't wear Crocs in the house!" And then I heard the shrieks of protest as Truong tried to remove them from her feet to take a shower. For a nano-second, I thought about giving Truong a helping hand and then that thought flew away. I fight battles all week, let Dad deal with this one skirmish.

In the background, I hear Kael saying again: "You don't wear them here!" and I thought: Truong better take them off now otherwise he's never going to be able to get them off her.

I was in Kael's room cleaning up when Truong got Malia out of the shower and into the kids' bathroom to get her lotioned up and dressed. I heard some shrieking from Malia and some pleading from Truong, and thought What the heck is going on?? I walk into the bathroom and this is what I see:




It appears she refused to take off the Crocs (I told you) and Dad being the softy that he is, allowed her to take a shower with said Crocs. When it came time to take them off so he could dry her, she freaked out and wouldn't let him do it. I ended up having to take them off, quickly dry them and put them back on her feet, with her flipping out until they were back on.

I asked him how was he going to put her clothes on and he said "Quickly." That's his game plan?! Okaayy. So I leave them to get Kael out before he floods our bathroom and I could hear angry screams of protest coming from the hallway. I finish with Kael and when I come out to check Truong's progress (Malia was still upset) this is what I see:






As you can clearly see, she's not a happy camper. But I have to hand it to Truong for trying.

Hot Sauce Hell

If you haven't guessed from my For Sale post I've been butting heads with Kael. And he's taken his bad attitude to school to share the love.

Thursdays we have a standing date with Westin. I take Kael out of school early (11:30am) and we meet Westin and Rylan for lunch and a play date at a nearby park until 1:30pm. The kids love it and it's nice to have Kael reconnect with his buddy he's known since practically birth. Today when I came to pick him up I saw Kael sitting by himself on the ledge looking very glum, with a sprinkling of pissed off. I figured maybe this was because his classmates were all eating and he was waiting for me by himself. As I walked over to him, Mrs. Morin (his teacher) intercepted me and said she wanted to talk to me about Kael.

Oh great, I thought. We had some issues with Kael not wanting to do his school work a few weeks ago but I thought all that was resolved with his Happy Face Chart (fill up a week with happy faces and get a reward, get a sad face and no TV, no books). Instead Mrs. Morin tells me that Kael's been annoying his friends. He's been repeating everything they say despite them asking him to stop. Repeatedly. Even when she asked him to stop, he didn't. In addition, he kept hitting his Weekly Reader (his school book) despite Mrs. Morin asking him to stop. Repeatedly. So he didn't get a Star Point today for good behavior even though he got a Happy Face for doing his work.

I'm surprised at his behavior -- but not surprised as I've been the unfortunate recipient of his aggravating "coppering" game (that's how he pronounces "copying"). He repeats what you say as you say it. To say that it bugs the crap out of me would be an understatement. Not only is he not listening to what I'm saying, but he's also mocking me! It completely enrages me.

So I'm listening to Mrs. Morin and over her shoulder I can see my kids sort of playing. Kael's still sitting on the ledge that bisects the eating area and the playground. Malia tries to climb up next to him and I can see her throwing her leg up. Kael (for reasons only Satan and his disciples would know) decides to wrap his arms around her waist and flips her to ground. She rolls a couple of times and ends up on her tummy in the wood chips. She looks dazed, as if not understanding how she went from an upright position one second, to her hands and knees, face deep in the chips the next. But he's not finished with her. He proceeds to sit where she was trying to get to and with a smirk on his face, starts throwing wood chips on her back. As she's still on the ground.

I see red. Hell fire red. I swear steam is shooting out of my ears. I excuse myself from Mrs. Morin mid-conversation and stalk over to Kael. I drag him over to the fence and rail into him: "What do you think you're doing?! Why did you throw your sister to the ground?! What's gotten into you?! You know better!" and the coup de grace: "That's it! No park date with Westin! We're going home and you're in big trouble young man!"

It bothers me a little that while he showed an itty-bitty bit of contrition in regards to his treatment of Malia (I could be wrong though -- maybe he was just plain scared because I was really pissed), the real tearjerker was the play date cancellation. Boy he really wailed at that one. I picked up Malia, brushed her off and stalked away. I looked back and snapped: "Let's go. Now." He shuffles after me, crying still, reluctant to follow, knowing what was waiting for him at home, but too afraid not to.

We're in the car, I'm still steaming, and Kael's in a sullen silence. He clearly knows he did wrong but was unable (or unwilling) to ask for forgiveness or admit his wrongdoing. Undoubtedly I needed to nip this new behavior now. I should have done it from the beginning but I figured it was another annoying phase he was going through and didn't take it past the point of verbal reprimanding. It was crystal clear that I needed to take it to the next level: Hot Sauce.

Hot sauce on the tongue is used for oral infractions, ranging from spitting to biting to saying bad words. I've broken many a bad habits with my trusty bottle of Sarachi hot sauce.

We get home and I have him wash his hands. Once the HS hits his tongue, his hands go in there too and I don't need him getting sick on top of everything else. That would just be my luck, wouldn't it?? The rule is a minute for every year of age. He doesn't get that rule yet, but I'm hoping when he gets the concept of time (as he gets older, adding on the minutes) we won't have to employ this disciplinary action any more.

It's a long painful 4 minutes for everyone involved and while he's drooling and spitting and crying, I go over the events of the the past 30 minutes with him (the copying of his classmates, the disrespect of his teacher, the tossing of Malia) and make him respond to my questions: Why did you get HS? Did they ask you to stop? Did you stop? Why didn't you stop? What would have been a better choice? What should you have done? Were you being a good friend/student/brother? All while he's crying and rubbing his tongue on his sleeve.

I finally release him to drink some milk and we start eating lunch. My sister calls and I chat with her. I say something, I don't remember what, but it was something animated.

And he repeated it. He coppered me!

I was shocked. I stopped talking and looked at him in disbelief. He had a popcorn chicken in his hands with a smirk on his face. The gleam in his eyes faded a bit when he realized I was staring at him in disbelief. I could see him mentally reviewing what just happened in the past 10 seconds and it slowly dawned on him, as evidenced by his widening eyes.

I hang up on my sister and I said to him in disbelief: You copied me! I can't believe you just copied me!!
He starts to panic: No, I didn't Mom! I didn't! I didn't mean to! I didn't!!
Me: You get hot sauce again!

And we added another 4 minutes. I hope he's a fast learner because at the rate he's going now, we're going to need to buy another bottle soon.

Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow is a new day.

For Sale

FOR SALE: A 4 year old boy.

Potty trained and can self dress (he just lacks the desire to do so). Will need the occasional reminder that underwear does not belong on your head and sock heels go on the bottom (no, the socks aren't "broken"), other than that he's pretty self sufficient. You will need to insist on using the potty before leaving the house. Don't take NO for an answer.

He is in great health as evidenced by his constant running and jumping, especially in places where he's not supposed to run and jump. If you have small children and/or pets, he will need to be reminded to not try and jump over said small children/pets. Same goes for puddles of all sizes and murkiness. Constant reminders may be needed.

Oral health in excellent condition. He has very strong teeth that will break skin when used to bite Daddy's back while rough-housing. He has a bit of a drool problem but that can be remedied by reminders to "swallow your spit." Again, constant reminders will be needed, especially during play otherwise expect to get drooled on.

His hearing ability is up for debate. We think he can in fact hear us; he just chooses not to listen. However, the level of not listening to Mommy and Daddy is such that we have to assume there is some hearing loss. How else can we explain why the near constant reminders to "put your toys away, " "time for dinner," "get in the shower," "put your clothes on," and "get in the car" go unheeded? How can anyone with normal hearing (or listening ears in good working order) not listen and comply to the reminders that turn into threats of privileges taken away and time-outs?

In accordance with the Lemon Law, I do have to tell you that he does get lippy. Very lippy. The backtalk and outright refusal to adhere to the House Rules and the Mommy's and Daddy's Law (aka the Because I Said So Law) is at an all time high. In fact, just about every request to do something not in line with what he wants at the moment will be subject to complete noncompliance, the Stinky Face and the Bratty Voice. Threats of spankings and time-outs will need to be administered to achieve performance. And don't expect a speedy performance. You will be subject to feet dragging and ceaseless whining.

Our best solution: send him to bed early and ignore the loud singing. Eventually he will fall asleep and tomorrow is a new day.

Repeat that: Tomorrow is a new day.

Worth waiting for...

I'm sorry I haven't updated the blog the past week. December crept up on me before I realized that I hadn't started making our holiday cards yet. I usually have them done by November and there I was: December 2 with nothing folded, nothing cut.

Anyway, all my free time is spent on trying to finish the cards. Then I have to take a picture of the kids. Yeah, that will be a nice relaxing event with Malia in constant motion and Kael's penchant for weird faces. Then I have to insert the pictures in every card. Then address and mail them.

If all goes well, I should get them out the door by Valentine's Day. So check your mailbox!

Here's a listing of upcoming posts:
Malia's First Haircut
Singing in the Rain
Kael's New (but Not So Improved) Family Pets

The last one about Kael's New Pets is probably going to be the most anticipated posting -- especially if you've been keeping up with my stories on Kael's love of all things 6-legged (and my absolute fear of them).

But you'll have to wait. My cards are calling me to finish them.