It's snot funny.

It was inevitable. Malia is totally and completely sick. She started out with the congestion. Then it moved on to a runny nose. Now she's got the fever. Plus I think her runny nose has intensified. I've never seen so much snot come out of one so tiny. I sit and wait with tissue in hand for a good sneeze to get all that gunk out. And she never fails me. I'm usually not one to get grossed out by my kids' snot but Malia is really pushing the envelope.

The hardest is when we're in the car and she sneezes. There's nothing I can do except drive faster and hope the mess isn't too bad. But when Kael starts hollering "Mom! Malia's making bubbles of snot!" there's really no hope.

On Monday when this happened on the toll road I reached back and handed her a tissue. There was literally a curtain of snot from her nose down past her chin and running onto her chest. I know, it's gross. So I hand her a tissue and tell her to wipe. She knows the basic concept of wiping (from wiping her mouth at the dinner table) and I figured at this point any kind of wiping was good, right? She starts wiping and she gets some on the tissue, but most goes on her hands. And her cheek. And then her hair. Think "There's Something About Mary" but with snot. She tries to wipe her hands with the tissue and instead it gets stuck on her hands. Apparently snot makes for good glue. She tries to get rid of the tissue but it's really on there good, and she ends up with snot glued tissue torn in half on both her hands. She starts waving her hands around. What she's really doing now is drying the snot, with the tissue still glued to her hands. She starts trying to pull the tissue off but only manages to shred the tissue into a bunch of little pieces. All still stuck to her hands. She starts to get really mad and is frantically waving her hands in the air trying desperately to get rid of the little pieces and ends up looking like a chicken trying to take flight.

At that point, I had to laugh. It was really funny. Gross, but funny. She eventually gave up and for the rest of the car ride home, her snot glued tissue covered hands rested quietly in her lap. The second I opened her door at home, she raised her hands and said "Wash, wash!"

Now when she sneezes in the car, she refuses a tissue and would rather sit there making snot bubbles then try to clean it up. Lovely. That's my dainty little girl.