Disneyland - The Happiest Place on Earth??

Not on Friday night it wasn't.

We didn't have school Friday due to Parent-Teacher conferences so Shana and I decided to visit Dland. I wanted to go late morning, stay a couple of hours and head home for naps. However, in a moment of weakness I was convinced by Shana to go in the afternoon (post-nap) and stay for dinner. I called Truong and got him to meet us there after work.

The kids wake up, I pack up our stuff, Shana leaves to pick up her mom (Hammy) and we agree to meet at Downtown Disney (DTD). First off, it's 5:30pm and there's a buttload of traffic. I take the inside streets so it's not too bad. Truong however calls me from the road and he's in a piss-poor mood. I guess if I were stuck in traffic for 40 minutes and only got halfway to my destination when it should only take 20 minutes, I'd be in a pissy mood too. So he's forgiven. Second, I finally get to DTD and it looks like half of Orange County is there. Parking is a joke. I drive around and around, stalk a few people and finally find parking after what what seemed like an eternity. I try to school my face into a pleasant, encouraging expression, hoping to get the family whose parking spot I'm taking to move faster but it's really hard to keep the look of disbelief from taking over as I watch the dad back straight out, move forward, back straight out again, move forward. Repeat some more for a 5 point turn in a little CR-V. In my head I'm screaming: TURN THE WHEEL, YOU IDIOT!!!

I unload the kids and start speed walking to meet Shana and her crew. DTD is a zoo. No, it's worse than that. DTD is like the mall the day after Thanksgiving, with 50-80% off sales, and it's payday. It was utter insanity. And into this insanity walked me with my E3 double and Shana and Hammy with a stroller each. We start moving towards the Gates of Disneyland and I get a phone call from Truong. He's even more pissed off than he was before: he made it to DTD but the parking lot's full and they aren't letting anyone in. He ends up valet parking the car -- I don't even bother to ask how much that was. I decide to turn around to meet Truong so I tell Shana to march on, we'll catch up, Godspeed.

The Mai's finally make it to the Gates and we get in line to get into DLand. Kael decides that he's hungry. Truong and I just look at each other and through that special ESP connection we have through years of knowing each other and sharing trenches in child-rearing, we tell him that we're eating inside Dland and to please wait. The kid is 4 years old and only 32 pounds - if I could, I'd feed him lard on a spoon to pack on some pounds. The fact that we didn't rush off to feed him is testimony of how determined we were to get into the damn park.

We finally get into the park and with a quick phone call to Shana, it was decided that Buzz Lightyear was going to be the first ride. But something strange is happening in the park. Why isn't anyone moving?? Oh crap. The parade's on and they've closed all avenues in the park. Can anything go our way tonight??

Through it all, I manage to remember that we're doing this for the kids. Malia's eyes are as huge as dinner plates. She's in a light-induced stupor, dazzled by everything that flashes and blinks, whirls and twirls. We stop and take the kids out of the stroller so they can enjoy the top third of the floats. Unfortunately for them, even on our shoulders, they are still quite vertically challenged.

Then, miracle of all miracles, Dland crew members open up the back of the park to allow park goers on Main Street the opportunity to get to Tomorrowland, and vice versa. We quickly hurry out -- only to discover that Shana's somehow managed to be at the exact opposite place she should be and missed the magic exit. But by this time, it was a sort of "every family for themselves" kind of thinking - and we kept on moving. We make it on the Buzz ride... and that was it. We had a hard time getting anywhere -- people were packed wall to wall. It was 7:45pm and the kids' hadn't had dinner, all the restaurants in Dland had at least a 90 minute wait, and quite honestly, we had had enough of people. It was totally ridiculous. So we headed back out, fought our way to the parking lot and ended up eating dinner at Chick-fil-a, on the way home. The kids had a nice time there on the indoor playground, and bonus: there was parking right in front. For free.

Truong has made a Family Decree that we are no longer EVER going to Disneyland after 4pm. Ever. I don't think I can argue with that one.