The Circle of Life

Remember those silk worms that turned into moths that mated like crazy and laid about a gazillion eggs? Enough eggs to line the walls and bottom of a huge box? I had real fears of the eggs hatching one morning and we'd have a gazillion little silk worms to feed. I needed to get rid of the box before they hatched because once they hatched I'd feel a responsibility to care for the little buggars. However, Kael was talking about his moths every day so I couldn't get rid of them until his interested waned.

Unfortunately, it never did. Eventually fear of the eggs hatching propelled me to secretly toss the box out one night. And sure enough, the next morning Kael asked what happened to all his moths.

OK so this would have been a prime moment to explain to him about the circle of life, about life and death, and how everything comes around full circle, blah blah blah. BUT how could I explain death caused by me throwing away the eggs in the garbage?? It's not as if they all died a natural death.

Instead I told him that they went home. That they missed their mommies and they all went home to their families. (I know - I can hear you all groaning "Sonya Sonya Sonya.")

I know it's a cop-out but I just wasn't ready to explain the D-words (Died and Dead). So all this time he's gone on with the notion that his silk moths went home. He still talks about them and will tell people he meets in the elevator, the grocery store, the mall, people everywhere about his silk moths and worms.

This morning he wanted to talk to Shana and Ryan. I call them up and first he chats with Shana. Then he chats with Ryan. Somehow the topic of silk worms came up and he asked where are Ryan's silk moths. (I'm a little alarmed because I know that Shana threw them away and didn't tell Ryan the same warm and fuzzy story I told Kael.) Ryan tells him they died. (At this point I'm trying to get Kael to steer the topic to something else: "Ask Ryan what he's eating for breakfast! Ask him what he's wearing! Ask him what he's watching on TV!") Instead Kael gets a concerned look on his face and tells Ryan that his moths (Kael's) went home. And Ryan tells Kael (very matter of factly): "No Kael, your moths died too."

Omigod. The look on Kael's face. I can't even begin to find the words to describe it. He gave me a wide eyed look of... Confusion? Dismay? No it can't be true? He tells Ryan again: "No, Ryan, my moths went home with their mommies." To which Ryan replies: "No Kael! They all died! They're all DEAD."

At this point I've got my head in my hands, with the image of my son's crushed look seared forever onto my retinas, desperately screaming in my head "SHANA TAKE THE PHONE AWAY FROM RYAN!", hoping that she'll get my ESP message. But no, the DiDodo's were probably laughing their asses off, knowing what was going on on this end of the phone call, and did not get my ESP signal.

I manage to get the boys to say good bye and the first thing Kael asks me "Mom, where are my moths? They aren't dead, are they? Are they, mom? Are they DEAD?" I distract him by telling him that I'm on the phone with Ms. Shana and gave him some Matchbox cars to play with. Shana gets on the phone and sure enough, she's laughing her ass off. She tells Patrick that I haven't told Kael about the moths dying and that I told him they went home to their families. Patrick is astonished that I haven't told Kael the truth. He takes the phone away from Shana and tells me he wants to talk to Kael. I ask him why. He tells me that he wants to explain the circle of life to Kael and how everything dies in the end. But I tell him I'm not ready to talk to Kael about that stuff yet so Patrick (who knows me so well and already anticipates the years ahead) gives me an option: "Sonya, you have a choice. Either let me talk to him about the circle of life or I will talk to him about the other circle of life."

Great, that's just what I need: the Italian Stallion telling Kael about the birds and the bees.