Oreo, no more!

I can take Oreo's off my list of Home Appropriate Cookies.

I still like the taste. I still think it's the go-to cookie when it comes to milk dunk-ability. But it's got to go.

Kael's preferred post-"nap" (hah! what a joke that moniker is) snack is a few cookies and a glass of milk. This week's cookie is the Oreo. Last week was the chocolate chip and the week before the oatmeal raisin. We like variety. Anyway he left an Oreo and I saw Malia trying to reach for it. I thought she was reaching for the milk as that's what she likes after her nap.

Oh no.

She spied the Oreo and wanted it. Forget the milk, I want the cookie. I gave it to her and went about my business. I would check on her periodically and could see that she was eating it quite slowly, turning it around and around in her hands. After taking 2 bites, she placed the Oreo on the table and looked at it carefully. I thought: what the heck is she doing?!

She finally picks up the Oreo and starts trying to break it apart. I guess the Oreo is more cemented together (for lack of a better description) than the French cookies my mom sent us. She couldn't figure out how to pry it apart but knew after taking several bites that there was a cream filling to be had. She breaks the top cookie layer in multiple pieces and starts to eat the cream. By this time I'm a little grossed out, not so much because of the mess, but because of the vast amounts of filling being ingested. I bought Double Stuffed Oreo's (it was on sale at Target) so there was a lot of filling.

I walk away -- big mistake, by the way -- and let her go at it. I return to give her milk and see her licking the cookie parts clean.

I mean it was CLEAN. Not a smear of filling could be found. It was a chocolate cookie, not an Oreo layer. I was amazed. A little shocked and, OK, I confess, more than a little impressed. I look at her face it's totally shiny from the filling. I take her to the bathroom to clean her off and this is where I decide that the Oreo will not be purchased for consumption in the Mai Household in the future.

Have you ever tried to wash Oreo filling off your hands? That shi-- that stuff doesn't come off! It's like water repellent. Water simply beaded on her face and hands. No matter how much I rubbed and scrubbed, I felt that crap just moving around on her face, like thick lotion. It was as if I was rubbing it into her skin rather than washing it off. Even with soap. Anyway, after a while, she got tired of getting vigorously scrubbed and started struggling, demanding "cookie, more cookie mama!" So I gave up with the soap and water bit and moved onto toweling her off. I think I got most of it off onto the towel and I figure by the time it's bathtime, maybe the filling will harden on her face and make for easier washing.

So, after dealing with a minor tantrum because I wouldn't give her anymore Oreo's, she was satisfied with some blueberries.

Which she proceeded to smash with her fingers like fat ants.