The drama. Oh, the drama!

Malia is full of emotions these days. Anything can set her off into a crying jag. A serious crying jag, complete with hysterical screaming, the broken Hoover dam of tears, and the heaving gasps. These bouts of hurricane emotions leave me.... perplexed. While I'd like to say that I empathize with her, I honestly can't because I'm... I'm... just confused.

Case in point: our shower incident. What condition are you usually in when you step out of the shower? Wet, right? Mostly your hair. Malia comes out of the shower in the same condition as everyone else in the known universe: wet.

Evidently though, this is unbeknownst to her.

As I'm drying her hair (which is dripping wet) she tells me "Mommy, don't mess up my hair."

What the...?! How in the heck am I supposed to dry her rat's nest of sopping wet hair without "messing it up," I ask you??

Recognizing a trap when I hear one, I tell her "I'm not messing it up; it's wet so I'm just drying it." Do you see what I've done? I acknowledged her fear (messing up her hair), refuted it (I'm not messing it up) and given her a reason to why I'm doing what I'm doing (it's wet, therefore I'm drying it). The best part: I've confessed to nothing! Air tight, right? Yeah, well, I forgot that I'm dealing with a 3 year old.

"Mom! I said, please don't mess up my hair!"

I can tell her stress level is starting to elevate as I pick up the pace in drying her hair. I figure the sooner I get it done, the sooner we can move on past this hair issue.

"MOM!! Are you messing up my hair?!"

Geez. Now what? As far as I'm concerned, this is the precursor to the "Does this outfit make me look fat?" question. There's no right way to answer it and still come out ahead. So I answer her patiently, yet firmly. Because, after all, I am the parent and I know what I'm doing.

"Malia, I'm not messing it up. It's wet from the shower and I'm drying it. As soon as it's dry, I'll put it up in pony tails."

There's a loud horrified gasp: "WHAT?!! You took out my pony tails???"

Oh. Crap.