My day. In the crapper.

WARNING: Do not read further if you get easily offended!!
I don't know why I bothered with this warning as that's just an invitation for you to keep reading...

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I noticed yesterday that I can handle two kids pretty good. Especially Malia as she's relatively undemanding and can play by herself. Kael takes more out of me because he's older and requires a different kind of play, a more interactive kind of play. When you toss in Taede, who has no concept of "just a second" or "I'll be right there," chaos ensues. Being the 3rd child, he unfortunately is our caboose and has to wait. There are times when I just can't get to him and the poor little guy will wail away until his face turns tomato red.

I had such a day yesterday afternoon. I just picked up Kael from school. Taede was hungry, needed a diaper change and wanted to nap... all at the same time. In my multitasking efforts, I decided to wait a bit to take Malia to the potty. I figured I just took her an hour ago so there's no rush.

I get Taede cleaned up and walk downstairs with the intention of getting the kids their snack, nursing Taede and then letting the older kids watch a little TV while I put him down for a nap.

You know what they say about the best laid plans...

As I walk downstairs, I see Kael sitting on the bottom steps. This is kind of strange -- why is he sitting on the steps?

I walk down a little further and notice that Malia shucked her panties and shorts and was on the potty.

Me: "Good girl, Malia! You went potty!"
Malia: "I went poop, mama!"

And she showed me.

This is where a picture montage comes into play:


Her undies.

Notice that they are nice and clean. We've been having problems with getting her to go #2 in the potty. Usually it's too late when she tells us -- she's already gone.


"I pooped on the potty, mama!"

Hmm. That's GREAT!

But it's an awfully small poop...

Then I realized what Malia failed to tell me: that that little nugget was just the tip of the iceberg. Or maybe it was the bottom of the iceberg...


ARGGHHHH!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!



And here's my poor little tomato red caboose. Wailing away while I cleaned and sterilized the mess that his sister made.

I was torn between being mad at Malia for pooping on the rug and realizing that I couldn't be mad at her because she tried to make it to the potty. Her panties were clean so I know she didn't poop in them. I just don't know the sequence of what happened after she pulled them off.

Because I had to decontaminate and sterilize the area, poor Taede was wailing away for a good 15 minutes.

And that was my day in the crapper.