Oh Mai Family: The Ants Go Marching On...

I forgot to tell you all about Kael's latest "pet." Actually, I should say "pets."

On Mother's Day we got him.... an ant farm.

"AN ANT FARM?!" you shriek in disbelief. Yes. An ant farm. It's called Antworks, to be precise. It's made of "space-age" gel that houses and feeds the ants, lit up from underneath with blue LED lights.

We had to buy it for him. You had to see his face when he saw it, then you would understand why I allowed an ant farm in the house. He held the box like it was the Holy Grail and only asked me once, in a very reverent tone of voice: "Mom. This is an ant farm. Can you get this for me, please?" He didn't even look at me when he asked, he didn't use that pleading gimme tone of voice. His attention was completely focused on the box. My heart melted, knowing that of all the things he randomly asked for at Brookstone, this was the one thing he really wanted. The rest he asked for just to ask, like throwing out requests knowing he wouldn't get anything but hey, you never know unless you ask and you just may get lucky.

But this -- this ant farm -- it was crystal clear that this was IT. I played hard to get ("well, let me think about it") just so he knew I wasn't an easy sell. And he didn't say anything, he just stared at the box, as if trying to memorize it. He docilely followed me around the store, not saying a word, not begging, not making promises, just asking me to read every word from the back of the box.

I finally relented and told him that we could get it but only if he promised to be very careful with the farm. He just nodded and continued to stare at the box, in a trance. I paid for it, added $8 for a 2 year insurance plan to replace it should anything happen to it and had it bagged. He insisted on carrying the bag out and when I placed it under the stroller, he wanted to ride the stroller to be as close to the bag as possible. Sometime later, I noticed that he got it out of the bag and had it clutched in his arms. It was still clutched close to his heart in the car, on the way home.

Upon arrival at home, he immediately asked to open it. Now, on an intellectual level, I knew in my brain that there wouldn't be any ants in there. How would they live? However, despite knowing that, and after reading the instructions where it stated "Ants aren't included" I still thought: "well, heck, where are the stupid ants?!" Turns out you have to order the ants. Actually, you could go outside and pick your own ants, but they recommended getting harvester ants for the size. Since it was a Sunday, I told Kael that I'd have to order them tomorrow. That kind of set me up for doom since he asked everyday, at least 4 times a day if the ants came in.

They finally came in Friday and I was not happy that Truong was not home to set them free in their new home. It was about 150 degrees outside so I was afraid the suckers would die from the heat so I had to release them myself. I wasn't about to spend another $4.95 on 25 harvester ants from Utah.

First, let me tell you: Harvester ants are HUGE. Especially when there's 25 of them stuffed in a little vial with a screw top. Second, unlike the worms, ants are fast. I was really nervous that they were going to leap out of the vial and crawl all over my arm. And third, I hate ants! Really hate ants. I'm scared of spiders but I can live with one if I had to. Ants invoke a different kind of emotion in me... disgust because where's there one, there's a hundred just around the corner. Creepiness because there are so many of them. Ugh. I can't stand them.

Anyway, I manage to put them all in. One fell out and made a mad dash across the counter. Miraculously, I got him back in the vial without screaming any obscenities in front of the children and slammed the lid on the farm nice and tight.

And so we all sat there, with our faces inches away from the farm. I don't know what we were expecting, instant digging? but we didn't get much action. They sort of milled around, doing nothing. After a couple of hours they started chewing but not where I thought they would. I had made some holes in the gel to help jump start them but they weren't going there. Great, I bought retarded ants.

By Saturday though, they laid some pretty good groundwork. Did you know that ants sleep? They work and work, and then they all stop in their tracks. The first time I witnessed this, I thought they were all dead, like a mass suicide. But 30 minutes later, they were all action again. You really do learn something new everyday.

So, my final assessment of Kael's ant farm: pretty cool. They are quite amazing digging their tunnels and I can be content watching them work. It's kind of like watching a fish tank. An ant's life cycle is between 1 and 3 months so I have a feeling I'll be placing an order for more ants in the near future.