Thoughts of Reincarnation

Today as we got ready for nap, Kael asked me a weird question. About 50% of the time I can usually figure out where his questions come from, from what he's done up to that point in the day. This one, however, really stumped me. I'll have to ask his teacher tomorrow.

Anyway, this is what he asked:
"Mom, when people die, when do they come alive again?"

I said "What?!"
I think I heard right, but wasn't sure. Kael is going to grow up thinking that I have a hearing problem since my first response to all his questions is always "WHAT?!"

Kael: "When people die... when they get dead, do they... can they... do they get alive again?"
He's struggling with finding the right words since his mom is clearly not so with it.

I'm slowly changing him out of his school clothes to give me more time to find the right words. There are no right words so I tell him: "No, honey. When people die, they just die. They don't come back alive again."

Kael: "Why not? Why can't they get alive again?"
Me: "They just don't. When something or someone dies, they...well, they stay dead."

Pause. I felt like saying something warm and fuzzy but didn't know what. My friend Jenny, a child psychologist, says she doesn't like misleading kids. It's better to either not say anything or to tell the gentle truth than to say something that's not entirely true. OK. Well, I can understand that. But it certainly doesn't help me in this case as I really didn't want to get into explaining "death is forever" with my 4.5 year old right before naptime.

I let that stew for a bit but did pick up the pace in getting his pre-nap routines in place (change of clothes, brush teeth, potty and book). But I wasn't fast enough.

Kael: "I don't like that, Mom. If someone dies, I want them to get back alive. It's not nice that they stay dead. OK, Mom? It's not nice at all!"

I have to say that I agree with him.

Monster Truck Jam

Who woudda thunk that the Mai's would ever get the opportunity to go to a Monster Truck Jam?

Not that I have anything against it -- it's just not something that ever crossed my mind to go to. On Saturday Kael got to go to a Monster Truck Jam with his buddy Josh. Kael actually went by default because originally it was supposed to be Josh and Ryan -- the two boys who are totally into cars and trucks. Kael is our little Nature Boy, one with Bugs, Creepy Crawlies and Reptiles. (ohmmm...) Cars and trucks are low on his list of preferred toys to play with.

Anyway, poor Ryan got hit hard with the flu Friday morning and it was clear that he wasn't going to make it to the Monster Jam. Erin asked if I wanted to take Kael and I told her I'd ask him. I really had no idea what he'd say so I had to be sure he knew what he was going to see.

Me: Baby, do you want to go to a Monster Truck Jam with Josh?
Kael (with a concerned look on his face): Will I like it?

Me (thinking because it's about trucks): Sure, you'll like it! It's a lot of fun. You get to see big huge trucks race around.
Kael: But will I be scared?

Me: Why would you be scared? It's just a bunch of big trucks.
Kael: What about the monsters? Are the monsters scary?

Me (thinking ohh): Baby, it's just called a Monster Truck Jam because the trucks are so big. There are no monsters there. I promise. It's not scary at all.

He doesn't really look convinced but is game to go to spend time with Josh. I had him call Erin to ask if he could join Josh and the boys end up chatting on the phone.

Kael: Hi Josh! Can I go to the Monster Truck Jam with you tonight?
Josh: Sure Kael!
Kael: Are there going to be monsters driving the trucks?
(I'm a little offended that he didn't believe me and had to get confirmation from a peer.)

Josh: What?
Kael: ARE THERE GOING TO BE MONSTERS DRIVING THE TRUCKS?
Josh: No! There are going to be drivers driving the trucks, silly!

It's obvious that I needed to prep my kid for tonight. So per Erin's advice, I went to the official Monster Truck Jam website for video clips of past races.

I have to admit they were pretty interesting. Huge assed trucks running over and flattening cars, racing and flying over bumps, and my personal favorite: racing around on three wheels after your truck has flipped over 360 and one wheel popped off. Clearly there is a whole other world I've yet to visit.

Anyway, as we're watching these trucks bang around the race track, Kael says: "Are they supposed to crash around like that? That's not good. They're breaking their cars. Are they going to get in trouble?"

Me: No, Baby, they are supposed to race around like that. It's OK. That's why it's so cool.
(It's evident to me that he's not understanding the joy of wanton destruction.)

We watch a little more - this time of the freestyle lap where the trucks do whatever they want: flatten cars to the ground, jump over cars, wheelies, etc. This time he looks really worried.

Me: What is it, Kael? What's wrong?
Kael: Are there people in there?

Me: Of course there is. There's someone driving the truck
(Boy, he's really caught on the whole Monster part.)

Kael: No, Mom. Are there people in the smashed cars?

OHH. That's what he's concerned about? Ugh. I quickly tell him that those are empty old cars and no one's in there and those cars are meant to be smashed. He still looked worried and asked again: Are you sure there's no one in those smashed cars?

I start to rethink the whole event, that maybe he shouldn't go. I don't want him traumatized for any and all future car rides. But after some more reassurances, he's still game to go so the boys motor off to pick up Erin and Josh.

As much as I love my men, I have to admit it was very nice to have the house to myself: Malia went to bed at 7:00pm and it was blissfully quiet. The boys eventually came home a little past 10:00pm with Kael dead asleep in the car. He hadn't napped all day (he was too excited) so that wasn't surprising.

The next day he raved about the race and has been sleeping with the Monster Truck Erin gave him ever since. He hasn't made any weird, the sky-is-falling comments regarding riding in the car (yet?), so there's no residual after-effects of watching the race. I've only gotten a few odd looks from strangers when he's talked about his favorite truck in public: Grave Digger. I don't know what shocks them more: that at 4 year old boy is saying "Grave Digger" or that I've taken him to a Monster Truck Jam.

All in all he had a great time. Thank you Erin, Dennis and Josh!

Here are some pictures taken by Erin of the event.


The boys settling in. Kael has that "Am I having a good time, yet?" grimace.


Josh and his protective head gear.


I love this picture of Kael. It makes me laugh every time I look at it.


The race track.


Kael's favorite truck (Grave Digger in green) is racing against some other truck. Neither Mai Boys can remember the other truck's name.


It's a close race.


Grave Digger in its Freestyle lap.


Ouch -- that's gonna leave a mark.


A final picture of the boys. It looks like they're singing Kumbaya.

The Writer's Strike is over.

Sorry folks for the long hiatus. After a weekend of parties (a birthday and baby shower) followed by constant rain, Truong being out of town, trying to find something, anything for the kids to do indoors... I found it really hard to get back on the computer to update the blog.

Quite honestly, we haven't done much of anything exciting at all.

The latest "thing" the kids are up to is Kael deciding that he likes his new found freedom of being able to walk out of his bedroom. For whatever reason, in the 2 years that he's been in a big boy bed, he's never gotten up out of bed and walked out of his room when he wakes up. Instead he would wait for one of us to come get him. Because of this I've continued to use the video monitor in his room otherwise he's waiting in his bed for hours, kicking the shutters, talking to himself. After the 2 hour nap mark, I'll start checking on him to see when he wakes up and go get him. For mornings, I start checking at 7:00am. In my opinion, there's really no logical need for anyone to be up before 7:00am.

So anyway, the past few weeks (I think we're on week 3 or 4), after much encouragement (and, yeah sure, nagging) he's finally started to open his door and walk to our bedroom. The problem is: he's doing this at 5:30am.

5:30 AM!!

This probably wouldn't be a real problem if he jumped beds to continue his sleep. But he doesn't (sleep, that is). He comes to our bed and... doesn't exactly play, but doesn't sleep either. He's playing with his hands, or talking or singing to himself, or burrowing under our covers, pretending to be in a cave -- just enough squirminess to keep us very well aware of his presence but not enough to reprimand him back to his bed.

At first he went to my side and I loved cuddling with him. But I guess he got hot because he started fighting me off. And when I'm trying to sleep but can't because of someone else's actions, I get really crabby. Come people, give me a break. It's 5:30 in the darn morning!

So he's now going to Truong's side and I've told Truong to keep him on his side. Don't put him in the middle because when Kael gets hot, he will climb up out of the covers and lay perpendicular to our heads, across the pillows. It's actually very annoying. There's nothing quite like turning in your sleep into a heel or elbow jabbed into your eye socket. He's got no bed etiquette at all. Plus, when he's across the pillows, he's up against the wall that we share with Malia and if he somehow wakes her up (by, I don't know, tapping the Backyardigans Pirate Song on the shared wall or something) there's going to be hell to pay.

The good news is since he's up so early now, Truong gets him ready for school for me. By the time 7:00am rolls around and I drag my butt out of bed, Kael's showered, dressed and placed in front of a cereal bowl downstairs. All I have to worry about is Malia. Woo-hoo! It's kind of nice. I just have to work on Kael going to Dad 100% of the time in the morning (as in, totally take me out of the equation, Mommy's not even there) so I can sleep straight through until 7:00am then we're golden.

I'm realizing this post doesn't exactly put me in contention for the Best Mommy Award of the Year... but heck, as all moms know, sleep is worth waayyy more than gold. I rank Sleep even higher than Private Bathroom Time, and that's usually a toss up

Snow Day

Kael finally got to play in his first snow -- and he had a blast. The Mai's and the DiDodo's went to Alpine Slide at Magic Mountain at Big Bear Lake and spent the day tubing, luging and having snow ball fights.

The ride up was breathtaking. It was beautiful to my adult eyes and to hear Kael exclaim: "Wow, Mom look! I can see everything from up here!" made the scenery extra special. And then he added: "Dad, drive carefully. I don't want to fall off the mountain." I had to second this remark but not because Truong was driving fast. I was getting so green in the gills from the windy roads that I'm surprised I didn't leave a trail of Sonya's Breakfast going up to Big Bear. It was a very close call and I had a few moments where I rolled down the windows, just in case.

We got to Alpine Slide and took a few minutes (or fifteen!) to dress the kids. With the boys clomping around in their boots, we entered the "village" to find out that they were filming an MTV show called "Parental Control." Later, as everyone tubed, Shana made sure to pass behind the cameras several times so I will have to watch for that episode to see if I can catch her in the background.

I've never tubed before so it was an experience trying to figure out the best way to slide down the hill without (1) looking like a boob on a tube and (2) risking injury to life and limb. My butt took the brunt of the bumps because it kept hitting the ground. Patrick said I'm supposed to sit on top of the tube and ride it that way but knowing me, I'd end up going ass-over-tea-kettle and leave a bloody trail down the hill. Not to mention Shana would have taken continuous action shots to document my fall from grace and posted them on the internet. No thanks. I'll sacrifice my ass instead of my face and dignity.

Next to the tubing hill was a luge where you ride the chair lift up to the top, and luge down on a sled. As expected, it was a lot of fun, in a scary "I'm going too fast" kind of way. I couldn't go as fast as I wanted though because you had to push forward on the stick to pick up speed and I wasn't tall enough to lean that far with Kael in front of me. The first time I went a little slow for fear of going so fast that my sled would fly off the lip and I'd sail down the mountain to land in Big Bear Lake. The second time I went faster and almost didn't brake in time. I didn't go a third time and opted instead to take the girls tubing as they were wandering around the village area waiting for us to come off the luge.

Around 12:00pm, we stopped for lunch. The girls were grazing on the snow so we figured it was a good time to stop. We packed up the kids and headed to a park nearby for a picnic lunch. The park was the perfect place for the kids to really get into some snow play as the snow was untouched and there was a lot of space to run. Kael and Ryan immediately took off to make snow angels and snow balls as the adults set up the table. The girls wandered around but not very far as they were pretty hungry.

Afterwards everyone engaged in some form of snow battle, whether it was a full fledged snow ball fight or my and Patrick's "let's see who's got better aim, but you can't move" game. Malia was content to stretch out on her belly in the snow with a spoon and fork and eat her way down. Every once in a while she'd cry and that was my cue that her fingers got too cold and I'd warm them up on my bare tummy. Once they defrosted, she went back to eating the snow, on her tummy, with her spoon and fork.

Finally at 2:00pm (or thereabouts -- it was after Gina did a pretty fragrant #2 that everyone was able to smell through 3 layers of padded clothing) we packed up and headed home. Malia and Ryan fell asleep almost instantly. Gina was up a little later but soon fell asleep. Kael, on the other hand, stayed awake the whole trip home that included getting lost so it took us 2 hours to get home instead of 90 minutes, and was still in a pretty good mood through dinner and his early bedtime. Everything I've read tells me that his good humor despite not napping means he's ready to drop his nap, but I'm just going to pretend I didn't read those articles.

Kael kept asking if it was Christmas again because through everything he's learned at school and books that he's read, he equates Christmas to snow. His linear thinking cracks me up. I guess that's what we get for living in Southern California where's there no seasonal change, ever.

It was a great trip and I'm looking forward to going again. Next time I'll bring barf bags and wear more underwear for padding.

Pictures with comments are posted in I Spy...

"Mommy, do you have a baby in your tummy?"

Kael was two for two this weekend with uncomfortable questions. What are the odds of him asking those kinds of questions two days in a row?!

After our sushi dinner last night, as we were getting the kids ready for their shower, Kael came up to me and patted my tummy. He sort of rubbed his face in it and asked "Mommy, is there a baby in your tummy?" My breath caught, and I almost shrieked out "WHAT?!" as I locked eyes with Truong. As usual, our response was slow and before we could gather our thoughts, he moved onto Truong and repeated the same thing, and then to Malia.

OK, whew! This was just a random question, and not one directly directed towards me. Later, I come to find out that he was looking at Shana funny over dinner, as if he couldn't believe his eyes how big she got. I hadn't told him that Ms. Shana has a baby in her tummy. I don't know why, I guess I just took it as common knowledge. Anyway, Shana said he was looking at her funny and finally Ryan said "My mommy has a baby in her tummy." That opened up the dialog for some questions from Kael that Shana KNEW she should have warned me about. She said that she was going to call me to warn me it was coming, but didn't think he'd ask so quickly after dinner.

Thanks, Shana, thanks a lot! Note for the future: LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY!!!

Anyway, back at home, Kael asked Truong if he had a baby in his tummy and Truong responded: "What do you think, Kael?" Kael sort of laughed and went back to me. He asked me again: "Do YOU have a baby in your tummy, Mommy?"

Me: "No, I don't have a baby in my tummy, sweetheart."

He then lifts the hem of my shirt to rub his face against my belly. And then he kissed it -- it was a very sweet moment. Then he says: "If you don't have a baby in your tummy, then why is it so round?"

And the moment was lost.

Sushi Soup

I've been having a craving for sushi for about 2 weeks and tonight I was able to satisfy that craving. In fact I more than filled my craving.

As usual I "forgot" to take something out of the freezer to make for dinner so Truong said he'd take the family out for sushi. Since he and Patrick met up for a round of golf this afternoon, Truong invited the DiDodo's to dinner too. The kids woke up, the men came home (luckily it got dark early) and off we went to dinner.

The place we went to is tiny, owned by Shana's neighbor, but the food was simply delicious. We all sat down, the boys played (quite loudly despite numerous threats of being sent home, sent to the car, separated at the table and getting spanked -- none of which worked for very long), and Malia was very antsy (she was starved as she didn't eat much lunch). Our server took a very long time to get to us but that didn't faze the men as all through dinner all we heard was how "hot" she was. After commenting on the lack of concrete matter upstairs, we got a blank look from the men with the comment: "If she's that hot, who cares? Besides, we want our wives to be smart, not our mistress."

Okaayy. That's good to know. I'll have to remember that one.

Sushi Soup #1
The boys sat at the end of the table, facing each other. For the most part, they were pretty good so we didn't really have to watch over them much. Due to this, I didn't notice Ryan making a sushi soup until it was... well, I guess, done. I have to assume Shana was aware of it and was OK with its creation. He had a rice bowl where he slopped everything together and mixed it up. Like I said, I didn't pay attention to the creation of the soup, I just noticed it when Shana told Ryan that he was done and cleaned it up. It looked nasty, yet fun at the same time.

Sushi Soup #2
At the end of the meal, the boys each got a bowl of mango ice cream. Kael took one bite and was done. Ryan ate about half of his. The conversation at the table was quite lively so I didn't pay attention to what the boys were doing. Ryan once again started making a soup in his ice cream bowl. This time Kael also made a soup. However, it was clearly evident that Kael was merely a Soup Apprentice to Ryan's Master Standing: Kael's soup consisted of edaname shells, water, and a whole shrimp tempura sticking out of the bowl. It was a watery concoction that in no way grossed me out as Ryan's. Ryan's on the other hand had a thickish consistency (like thick salad dressing) and was murky in color. I could see... stuff... in there, like rice, bits of sushi (the tuna from a spicy tuna roll), some chewed up edaname beans, lumps of half melted mango ice cream, and some wasabi, to name a few items. He also added spoonfuls of soy sauce and tempura sauce for color. He basically took everything that was within reaching distance and added it to his sushi soup. As I watched in fascination, he very carefully stirred the soup so it was nicely smooth, uniform in its consistency. The whole table got quiet but I didn't notice this as I wondered what his next move was going to be. My thoughts were: "No, he's not, that would be disgusting." And yet, I knew Ryan and knew what he was capable of. The question was just how far would he go?

Slowly, as everyone watched him (probably with the same train of thought running through their heads), Ryan slowly lifted a spoonful of sushi soup to his mouth.... and slurped it up.

It. Was. Disgusting.

My shocked eyes flew to Shana's for confirmation that someone else was witnessing this and I saw the same shock reflected in her eyes. Even Patrick sat there with his mouth hanging open.

And Ryan looked around... and slurped up another spoonful.

Finally someone, I don't know who -- perhaps Truong, perhaps Patrick -- but someone finally broke the silence and said "NO MORE!! Stop eating that!"

And in response, Ryan said "Wait! One more!" and he very carefully took the bowl in his hands and sipped it like it was miso soup.

Ugh. My stomach still wants to hurl, reliving that moment.

I have a new respect for Ryan. I'll be carrying breath mints with me whenever we hang out with the DiDodo's, but I have to hand it to him: he really makes an outing interesting.

Help me!

I knew it was a matter of time before Kael asked a question that would be uncomfortable to answer. However, even knowing this, I still wasn't prepared.

Today after a sweaty, sandy morning at the park with Josh and Ryan, we popped both kids in the shower for a quick rinse before nap. As he entered the shower stall, Kael asked to no parent in particular but obviously directed at both Mom and Dad: "Why do you have hair on your pee?" (meaning the pee area, not the pee product).

Yikes! He totally caught us off-guard. In no way shape or form were we expecting to field this kind of question at that precise moment. As a result, there was complete silence from Truong and I as we both looked at each other, willing the other to speak up first, playing the game of Silent-Chicken. Finally to get us more time, I said: "What did you say?" hoping he said something like "Why do you have a pear in your tree?" and I just heard it wrong.

Again, he repeated it, clear as a bell: "Why do you have HAIR on your PEE?"

By this time Truong recovered enough to respond with "When you get older you'll get hair there too." I thought that was a pretty good answer. It was the truth without getting into too many details that (1) I know Truong wouldn't be able to answer and (2) lead to any more embarrassing questions that he (Kael) wasn't ready to understand.

But unfortunately that answer wasn't good enough for Kael: "But why do you get hair there?" Truong repeated his "when you get older" answer and closed the shower door, hoping that was the end of that.

We put the kids down for their naps (I took Malia and Truong took Kael) then I ran some errands. When I returned, Kael was up and quietly playing with Truong. In passing, Truong very quietly told me that he asked IT again, before naptime; you know, the hair question. I chuckled, secretly relieved that Malia was still nursing so she was my responsibility, not Kael. Truong said that he keeps telling Kael when he gets older, blah blah blah... but he's not buying it!

Unfortunately, Crystal's Big Book of Why didn't cover the Why's of Pubic Hair so I'm prepping myself for a very simple, bare bones talk on hormones. To a 4.5 year old. Don't you wish you were a fly on my wall for that conversation.

If you have any suggestions, tips and/or pointers, please share. Seriously.

"I just love doing this to girls!"

It's Friday night so Kael's at Grandma's house. Truong came home early and Malia woke up at 4:15pm - so it was perfect timing for the Mai's to head out for some dinner before things got too crowded. Earlier in the day I had placed an order with Patrick for some frozen pasta and sauces from Cortina's so we decided to head over to the DiDodo's to pick it up before heading out.

And somehow we ended up staying for dinner (I was quite embarrassed). Well, I guess it wasn't really a "somehow" situation as Truong invited himself (and by default, Malia and I) to their dinner and of course the DiDodo's were gracious enough to insist we stay.

For those of you who don't know, Ryan loves Malia. So much that Shana and I have a feeling that these two lovebirds will one day end up marrying each other. Over the course of dinner the kids were playing (meaning Ryan and Malia were playing, Gina was hovering around the food... man, that girl can pack it in) and every once in a while when Ryan and Malia got quiet, I'd have to go check on them to make sure everything was OK. Towards the end of dinner Ryan and Malia were on the floor in front of the TV... doing... something. I hear laughing and I look over. Ryan had Malia in his arms, and was rolling with her across the floor, both laughing like loons. Shana tells him to be careful and Ryan responds with "I just love doing this to girls!" It was freaking hilarious.

Patrick was so proud of his little boy. Shana and I shared an "oh boy, we better watch out for this one" look while Ryan and Malia continued to happily roll across the floor, clutched in each other's arms. Enjoy it now, my young friend Ryan, because Papa Mai will be putting his foot down in a few years!

The things they remember...

We were in the car today, heading to swim lessons when Kael saw someone standing by his car in a parking lot (we were stopped at a light). He asked if that man forgot his keys. More concerned with the sound of Cheerios being flung across the backseat by Malia (she likes to open her snack trap and dump everything onto her lap), I said absentmindedly: I don't know honey, I don't think so.

Kael: I think he forgot his keys.
Me: Uh-huh.
(Damn, she did pop the lid off. Truong's going to kill me; the car's a mess again.)

Kael: Will he have to break his window?
Me: Umm. No, I don't think so.
(Shoot, did she dump the whole thing? How much did she dump out?)

Kael: Mom, what's the name of your friends that went to the zoo with us?
Me (this question caught my attention): You mean Ms. Crystal and Mr. Jimmy? Them?
Kael: Oh yeah, them! Remember when Ms. Crystal had to break the window?
(Dammit he had to remember that one story out of everything we did that day!)

Me: Umm. Yes... But she only did that because she was stuck outside and needed her car keys.
(Sending evil thoughts to Crystal for even mentioning that story in front of him.)

Kael: Well, that guy was stuck too so do you think he's going to break the window like Ms. Crystal did?
Me: Uh. Well... (my stall tactic). Hmm. I don't think he lost his keys, Baby. I think his keys were in his pocket and he was just fishing them out. Like how I put my keys in my bag and I have to fish them out to open our car. So no window breaking today.
(Good save, Sonya.)

There's a moment of silence. I think the topic's finally dropped, with pretty good damage control if I do say so myself. And then:

Kael: Is breaking windows bad, Mom?
Me: YES, IT IS!
(I jump on this statement like a drowning man to a life preserver.)

Kael: But Ms. Crystal had to break her window, right?
Me: [[ Silence ]]
I smell a trap and look back to see if he's smirking, if he's testing me and knows he's got me cornered.

Kael: Right, Mom? Ms. Crystal broke her window, right? Why did she do that?
Me (cursing Crystal, again): Yeess, but Ms. Crystal had to break her window because she was stuck outside. If she wasn't stuck without her car keys, she wouldn't have broken the windows.
(I'm talking really slow, making sure I'm not setting myself up for disaster with my own statements. Quite honestly, I'm a little nervous that he's got me boxed in.)

Kael: Why was she stuck? Why didn't she get someone to help her? Why did she break the window? Did she get in trouble? Did the police come and get her?
Me: [[ Silence again, my eyes are opened wide, with my thoughts ping-ponging in my head, trying to find the right answer ]] Ms. Crystal's Mom and Dad weren't home and there was no one around to help her. Her car keys were in the house and they were stuck outside. So she had to break the window. She didn't want to but it was something that needed to be done.

Kael sits on this for a bit, mulling it over in his head, and then: If the police saw her, would they put her in jail?

Oh jeez. I gritted my teeth over this one. Which way do I go? Do I tell him that yes, you can get arrested for breaking windows and have him look at Ms. Crystal and Mr. Jimmy as "bad guys" or do I save their reputations but risk him thinking that it's OK to break windows?

Me (slowly again): Yes, you can get in trouble with the police for breaking windows, but Ms. Crystal was OK to break her parents' window just that one time because she was stuck outside. If her mom and dad were there, if anyone was there to help her, she wouldn't have had to break the window.
(I quickly review what I said in my mind to check for any loopholes, and find none.)

Kael: But if the police saw her, would they put her in jail?
(Gawd, what is it with putting people in jail?!)

Me: No, honey! Jeez. The police didn't see her and it's OK now. Ms. Crystal isn't going to break anymore windows. She knows it was wrong to do and she won't do it again.

Kael thinks it over, and finally (mercifully) drops the subject.

The boy can't remember how to put on his shirt (tag in back), he can't remember the "no beaning Malia on the head with any object - ever" rule, and he can't remember to say "excuse me" after he passes gas -- but he remembers this one little bit of conversation after a full tiring day at the San Diego Zoo, weeks ago?!

Jeez.

You are what you eat...

We've all heard that saying and we all know it's true. But do you know the saying: "They are what you eat..."? Meaning what you eat while pregnant is most likely going to influence what your kids crave as they get older?

I've found this to be very very true with my kids. While pregnant with Kael, I ate lots of salty-starchy kinds of foods: meats, pasta, pretzels, etc. Not so much sweets. Lots of vegetables. I can see that in what Kael tends to gravitate towards now (when he eats, that is). He's not a big sweet eater. He rarely eats cookies, cakes and cupcakes at parties and just now is starting to ask for candy (although he rarely takes more than a few licks or bites at a time). I have no problems giving him a lollipop because I know after a few licks, he'll ask to throw it away. Give him something salty like popcorn on the other hand, he'll eat until he's bloated.

With Malia, I couldn't stop eating sweets. Cakes, chocolate, ice cream, cookies... if it had sugar, I had to have at least 3 servings. I gorged myself on fruits. I went to Costco every 4 days to get more fruit and I'd eat it all by myself. Amazingly, I only gained 21 pounds and Malia was only 5 pounds, 6 ounces at birth so I don't know where it all went.

I tell you this story to explain Malia's newest behavior. We have a dish of odd snacks we've gotten over the holidays and haven't yet finished: Kisses, Christmas treats from Kael's holiday party at school, party favors, gifts, etc. -- a smorgasbord of sweets and candy. Somehow, I don't know how as she's a little peanut, she knows it's up there and will lead Truong or I to the right corner, point up to the counter and say: "Want choc! Want choc!" At first I didn't know what the heck she was asking for, so I hoisted her up and asked her what she wanted. Invariably she always pointed towards the dish and said with more vigor: "WANT CHOC! WANT CHOC!" It finally dawned on me that she was saying "Want chocolate! Want chocolate!"

Wow. She's only 20 months old and is already a choco-holic. And she's persistent: if one parent won't give in, she'll run to the other with a very pitiful expression on her face "Mama, mama! Want choc! Daddee, Daddee! Want choc!" Back and forth she goes until one parent caves in. Need you ask which one that is?

I don't think Kael got his first taste of chocolate until he was at least 2.5 years old. I'm embarrassed to admit how much my standards have dropped with Baby #2.

The Mommy-Do

Every mom knows the Mommy-Do (also known as the ponytail). I live in the Mommy-Do. It's quick, it's easy and it's a no-brainer. The last part is the real clincher for me as I'm the most hair-impaired person you'll ever come across. Rarely do I ever do my hair and leave it long and free. Once in a while though I'll feel the calling of my XX genes and haul out the curling iron and make-up kit. I feel that make-up is such a scam for me: its shelf life is so short and I rarely wear it so I'm constantly having to buy new stuff after using it a handful of times for fear of getting an eye infection and going blind.

Today was Ryan Irwin's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Kael was thrilled to go and see his friends and play all the games, and I was thrilled to have Grandma watch Malia so I could spend some needed one-on-one time with Kael. So I considered this a special day for more reasons than just Ryan's birthday. I woke up and decided to actually do myself up. Now I know you're all thinking: Sonya, it's Chuck E. Cheese. But like the need to rubberneck an accident on the freeway, you can't fight the call of your XX genes.

Comment #1
We're driving to CEC and I think I see Jenny's car. We park and turns out it was Jenny's car. She gets out and she tells me she thought it was me but didn't think my hair was that long so maybe it wasn't.

Huh.

Comment #2
We're in CEC and Kael's having a blast. I see Christina and walk over to say Hi. She looks a little startled? Disconcerted? Bewildered? and says to me "I didn't recognize you with your hair down!"

Huh.

Comment #3
I'm at home and the kids are napping. Shana calls me and mentions how she almost didn't recognize me with my hair down and how surprised she was at how long it was and how nice it was to have it down.

Okaayy. I think I get the message.

So my question is: Do I really look that much of a mess every day??!!

My mom is very old-school and is constantly telling me to "pretty myself up." That just because I'm married, that's not the reason to "let myself go." That Truong works hard all day and that he should come home to me dressed nice, with my hair combed (!!!) and please, at the very least, for pity's sake, wear lipstick for some color.

I've always brushed her off as being trapped in the 50's. But evidently I need to pay her more attention.

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Edited to add...

Erin sent me an email after reading this post and it really hammers in the fact that I need to administer a major overhaul of my morning grooming rituals:

"Add me to the list of almost not recognizing you with your hair down!!! I was going to comment, but figured that you had heard it already :) I did notice that the ponytail was back by the end of the party, though!"

Oi.